How Many Kisses Now?
by celllery
Summary: Follow Chad Dylan Cooper and Sonny Munroe in a series of oneshots as they  willingly or unwillingly  embark on various kissing adventures.
1. Pig

_**A/N:**__ hey everyone! This is my first time on FF—heck, it's my first time writing a fic period! Anyway, _everyone_ loves kisses so these are a bunch of oneshots focusing on the subject. These oneshots: do not take place during any specific time, change POVs, tenses, etc etc anything goes. I hope this can successfully describe various parts of their relationship. Enjoy! (: _

_**Disclaimer:**__ the only thing I own is my car. …oh wait, I don't own that (yet) either._

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#1. Pig

It was a normal, beautiful day at Condor Studios in Hollywood, California: nice weather graced the clear blue skies lined with perfectly puffy white clouds. Birds chirped, bugs crawled, paparazzi flashed pictures, children played, and Sonny Munroe chased Chad Dylan Cooper through the halls like a lunatic.

"CHAD! _GET BACK HERE_!" her voice shrieked through Stage 2.

"Peace out _suckaaa_—!" Chad teasingly yelped with a huge grin on his face as he flailed his arms in a running frenzy.

"This isn't funny! Give me back my phone!" Sonny sounded desperate, her voice cracking between her words. She shut her eyes, ready to run full speed, when—_FWUMP_. Sonny Munroe had just successfully run into Chad Dylan Cooper's closed dressing room door.

"OUCH, that one sounded like it hurt, Sonny," an annoyingly cocky voice chuckled from inside the room.

"Chad, let me in! What are you planning?" Sonny cried as she banged her fists against the door, hoping the loud noises would cause Chad to surrender and let her in.

"_Relax_, I just wanna see what name and picture you gave me in your phone, _duh_," he replied in a matter-of-fact manner.

As if that one sentence sent a million warning alarms straight to her head, Sonny instantly became motionless. "...oh, dear," her face dropped as figurative red lights flashed around and around and around and—

"Sonny, what is THIS?" Chad viciously swung open the door, cellphone firmly gripped in his right hand, only to reveal obvious frustration proved by that scowl on his face: eyebrows furrowed? Check. Gritted teeth in a frown? Check. Neck strained in anger? Check. Tiny vein protruding from the side of his head? Check. Beautiful blond hair, blue eyes, and _whoa has he been working out_? Check _that_ out!—wait, what? "Why is there a picture of a _pig _under the name '_Chad Dylan Cooper_'?" Chad seethed with gritted teeth and a scrunched up nose.

Sonny laughed nervously and avoided eye contact. Maybe if she put on her _cutest _smile Chad would forget he was mad?

[Insert cute toothy smile here.]

[Insert even-more-narrowed eyes from One Angry Blond here.]

"Listen, Chad, I—"

"No, let me guess: you think I'm a _pig_."

"Wait, no, that's not what I—"

"I don't want to hear your excuses, Sonny! Actually—actually—you know, most girls would _kill_ to have Chad Dylan Cooper's number, but nooo, _no_, YOU completely take it for granted!"

"Chad, you see—"

"Wait, it's because I kissed a pig, isn't it? You _know _that was completely (he violently pointed at her) _your _fault!"

Sonny momentarily looked away, her shoulders stiffened as she tried to hold back her laughter. "Pff—you have to admit, that was a pre—tty funny," her lips quivered and fought a smile.

"The only _funny _thing about that is you probably _kiss like a pig _anyway, so I might as well have been kissing you at the time; there wouldn't be a difference anyway!" Chad retorted as he glared at her, his one eye slightly more squinted than the other with his lips somewhat puckered into a pout.

With her smile quickly turning into an agape mouth, Sonny shook her head to get a hold of herself. "Oh, OH, so _that's _how we're gonna play? Well _FINE_!"

"FINE!" he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Good!" she placed her hands on her hips.

"Good!" he took a step closer to taunt her.

"Fine!" she took a step closer to show him she wouldn't back out of a challenge.

"Fine," he grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her into a kiss.

His warm lips played with her equally warm yet peach-glossed lips. The kiss lasted longer than Chad would have liked (or so he would claim) because Sonny was too shocked to pull away (or so she would claim). The fact they both closed their eyes and momentarily held onto each other meant _absolutely nothing _(or so they would claim). Finally, they broke free with shallow breaths and stared into each others eyes. Chad broke the silence, "w-well...that was...you know," his hand covered his face in an attempt to hide his blush and tingling lips, "slightly—slightly, uhm...pig-ish."

Sonny responded with silence. Her face shined bright red, her mouth was ajar, and her eyebrows were knit in confusion. Chad swallowed as he looked around nervously. When he decided Sonny wasn't going to comment, he interjected, "I better go...see ya!"

Chad Dylan Cooper ran off down the hallway, out of Sonny Munroe's sight.

"...what just happened?" Sonny snapped back into reality, "wait. Did he say..? Pig—? _CHAD_!" and she ran off down the hallway after him.

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_**A/N 2:**__ thank you to those who read it! I'd totally appreciate feedback, constructive criticism, grammar-corrections, friendly words?, $1000?, anything! (: I already have the 2nd oneshot almost done and the 3rd started so they'll be up soon. __ Also if anyone wants to give me word prompts or relate some good kisses/kissing stories/situations they've got then let me know, _maybe_ I'll write Channy into it (I'll credit you, of course)! ;)_


	2. Reality

_**A/N: **__you guys are so awesome, thank you everyone for your reviews, favs, and alerts! I was really surprised and happy. :') I hope you guys will enjoy this one, too!  
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___**Disclaimer: **if SWAC was mine we wouldn't have to wait a month between new episodes!_

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_#2. Reality

"Sonny," his voice is smooth, flawless, echoing through her eardrums.

"_Chad_," she spits back instantly, as if a bug flew into her mouth and she needs to eradicate it.

His voice softens as he caresses her face. "Sonny…"

_Since when is Chad Dylan Cooper so- so- so _dreamy_?_

Oh, yeah. Always.

"Hey, did you fall for me yet?" he grins in that ever-so-cocky-yet-sweet-at-the-same-time way only Chad Dylan Cooper can pull off. The look that makes you want to smack him and _pounce_ him at the same time.

"Pfft, pssh, n—" but before Sonny finishes denying it, Chad's mouth is _engulfing_ hers, making her lips his, sucking out her soul as if he needs it for his own, overtaking her entire being while completely distracting her by destroying any ability she has to speak and think.

He hypnotizes her with his kisses until she wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him into her, breathing picks up, face is flushed; his hands tight around her waist, wiggling around her body, slowly making their way up her back, captivated by her sudden gasping until he can't take it, he pushes her down and—

"Wh- wh- WHOA!" Sonny Munroe (also known as "Frantic") leaps up from her _dream_, falling off the couch in the Prop House where she's napping, onto the floor, and proceeds to hit her head against the table directly beside it.

"Oh my gosh! OHMYGOSH—OW—!"

"Sonny! What happened?" Chad's voice raises an octave as he jumps from the couch and kneels beside Sonny, a look of amusement, worry, and just plain confusion covering his face. "…you leaped off the couch. I have to say that was the most _ridiculous_ thing I've ever seen," he mockingly waves his hand in front of his face to stifle his laughter.

Flashbacks of her dream rush into her mind, filling it quickly to the point where she thinks it might explode her brain.

"Pfft PFFT, w-well, I wasn't dreaming about _kissing _you if that's what you were thinking, because _that _is what would be _ridiculous_!" Sonny rubs her head and quickly stands up, completely disregarding gravity resulting in extreme dizziness. Said dizziness—coincidentally—causes Sonny to fall over on top of Chad as he stumbles from his kneeling position to a lying down (by force) position on the floor.

"O-oh! I'm sorry, Chad! Wow, this is just getting more and more, uh, awkward..." Sonny blushes as she struggles a bit while Chad, on the other hand, looks as though he's not affected by this situation at all—in fact, a devilish lopsided grin takes over his face as his now-slightly tousled blond hair falls flirtatiously into his eyes. He holds her in place on top of him.

"Wait, you were dreaming about kissing me?" he asks in that cocky-yet-sweet voice, _just like in Sonny's dream_.

"Wh-what? What?" Sonny stalls for time to think, "o-oh, _OH_, you—wait," she guffaws, "pfft, _boy_, you're _crazy _if you think I'd dream about—" she's cut off by the Most Piercing Blue Eyes Ever.

"Sonny, Sonny, Sonny," Chad interrupts, "just admit you wanna kiss me. I mean, c'mon, who wouldn't? I'm Chad Dylan Cooper after all," his smug demeanor begins to radiate off him.

"Chad, get _over _yourself. As if I—" suddenly Sonny has an epiphany, "—wait, why are you here anyway? Why were you in the Prop House when I woke up?" Chad shifts Sonny off of him and they set themselves up until they're sitting one in front of the other. Without warning, as if it was his plan all along, he gazes into her eyes.

"Maybe I came here to make your dream come true," he replies smoothly as he takes her hand into his. His grin emphasized by dimples lights up the room and Sonny's heart runs a marathon and apparently her mind goes completely blank.

"Th-that...I told you I _didn't_—" Sonny starts but is instantly shushed by Chad's fingers gently being placed on her full lips.

"Come on, don't make a fool out of yourself. Just _admit _it," he says coolly. His thumb migrates from underneath her chin to her bottom lip, caressing it slowly, sensually, _flirting_ with her skin—

_CHOMP._

"Ow! What the—" Chad cries and cups his fingers in his other hand, "you...BIT me!"

Sonny spits, "yeah! I had to _admit_, I really wanted to."

"Really?"

"Really, Chad. _Really_."

"Well, that wasn't so difficult, was it?"

"Huh, what do you—"

And then they were kissing. It's more passionate than romantic but the way his hair flicks across her forehead definitely sends chills down her spine. She feels his cheeks brush against hers, her blushing more apparent after each passing second. Finally they breathe into each others mouths and finish the kiss off.

"Ch-Chad..._what_! What was THAT for!" Sonny covers her mouth like it's diseased and blushes furiously.

"You said you 'really wanted to,' I was _so _doing you a favor," he adjusts the lapel of his blazer and shrugs nonchalantly.

"I really wanted to _bite_ your finger, you doofus!" she shouts as she smacks him behind the head.

"OW! Hey! Sonny, _watch it_!" Chad jumps up and fixes his precious hair. How dare she mess up such beauty? "Anyway, as much as I'd _love_ to hear you deny how much you want me...I better go," he adds as an afterthought but immediately chuckles when he sees Sonny still holding her hand to her mouth in a nervous frenzy. "By the way, that kiss? Nothin' to brag about. And since Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't kiss girls who aren't worth bragging about, we're gonna have to fix that and perfect your technique. Got it?" he clicks his tongue, winks, and disappears out the door, the feeling of accomplishment evident in his strut.

Sonny sighs as her brain slowly becomes less clouded but her hand remains covering her throbbing lips. Oh well: that's reality.


	3. Revenge

#3. Revenge

Chad Dylan Cooper was **kissing** Sonny Munroe.

Chad Dylan Cooper was kissing Sonny Munroe.

Chad Dylan Cooper was _kissing_ Sonny Munroe.

Long story short: the boy was KISSING her!

And if he found out she was in the process of repeating his name over and over in her head his head would explode from an inflated ego.

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**1:17 PM **_(two and a half hours ago)_

"Yo, G, what's that?" Nico scooted his chair closer to Grady in the commissary.

"NOTHING!" Grady shrieked as he hid whatever he was holding in a crook between his now-crossed arms, "_Nothing_," he whispered eerily, his eyes wide open.

"Dude, seriously? What gives?" Nico raised an eyebrow then shook his head, deciding he definitely did _not _want to pursue this conversation any further. Grady hunched over and checked on the secret items in his arms.

"Playing with toys? Really?"

The two friends instantly shot their glances up behind them to where the mysterious new voice came from. They groaned, a feeling of nausea creeping up in their stomachs; the type of feeling that made them regret eating lunch (yes, it was _that _bad).

"_Chip_," the boys spit out the venomous name in unison as Chad "I Think I'm So Cool" Dylan Cooper (as if his name couldn't get any longer) popped his collar with one hand and shoved the other into the pocket of his khaki pants.

"The one and only," he smirked and smoothed out his lapel, "and I see you_...children_—or whatever you are, boy-children, men-children, I don't know nor do I care—are playing with toys, as usual. But, really, _Power Rangers_?" a look of confusion and—if you looked hard enough—_wonder_ filled his face.

Trying once again to hide the items in his arms, Grady coughed awkwardly.

Nico's mouth dropped as he turned his attention to his friend. "Power Rangers, G? You brought _Power Ranger toys _to the _commissary_? Man, come ON, chicks dig _boats_, not _Power Rangers_!"

"Hey, HEY, don't you give me that, _you like them _just _as much as I do_! And they're _action figures_, not _toys_," Grady snapped back in defense, this time caressing his beloved Power Ranger figurines.

"Actually, chicks dig _private jets_. And Chad Dylan Cooper," Chad butted into their argument with a sly grin. He turned on his heel and cackled while walking back to his own table, a slight "losers!" could faintly be heard as he sat down. His work here was done. Chad: 1, Randoms: 0.

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**1:53 PM**

"Wait, hold on, let me get this straight—" Sonny massaged her temples and closed her eyes, trying to envision the scene, "you guys were hanging out in the commissary—"

"Yeah, yeah!" Nico and Grady enthusiastically nodded as they surrounded Sonny in her dressing room.

"—Grady was playing with Power Ranger toys—"

"A-_HEM_," the blond cleared his throat in an annoying manner.

"—I'm sorry, '_action figures_,'" Sonny used air-quotes to correct herself.

"_Much_ better!"

"Then Chad came over, made fun of you guys, and now you want revenge on him?"

"Yes, yes!" Nico cried. The excitement was getting to him.

"_Revennnge_," Grady whispered in a raspy voice.

"...guys, really? I mean, I dislike Chad just as much as you do, but—" Sonny began.

"But _WHAT_?" Nico and Grady could hardly hold themselves back; they had to push for an answer.

"—BUT he makes fun of us all the time. I think revenge is a _little_ much in a situation like this," she sighed, crossed her arms, and shrugged slightly.

The boys were not amused. After a moment of silence, Nico glanced at his pal. "...uh-_huh_. I get it. You get it, G?"

"Oh, yeah, I get it all right!" Grady licked his teeth in an I'm-so-tough type of way and folded his arms. "Looks like someone has a _CRUSH_," Grady nodded and Nico copied his action.

"Whoa whoa WHOA, hold on! Just because I don't want to help you guys get _undeserved revenge_ on Chad Dylan Cooper you think I'm in _love_ with him?" Sonny's hands flew to her hips, her lips puckered in disgust.

"Hey, _you_ said it!" Nico threw his hands up in innocence.

Grady shrugged and added with an unsympathetic look on his face, "Yeah, you _kinda_ did."

Sonny glared at the boys, unamused. They glared back. Insert ridiculous glaring contest here. Until: "UGH! Forget it! You guys are _impossible_! Just—just—..." Sonny shuffled in place, her voice gradually straining, "...all right, tell me the 'Revenge Plan.'"

Insert two extremely pleased boys here. Chad: 1, Randoms: ...er, a half. Maybe?

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**2:32 PM**

Sonny paced back and forth in her dressing room with a look of distraught, confusion, and guilt gracing her face. She quietly mumbled to herself as Tawni ogled in her mirror, admiring the beautiful reflection it showcased for her day after day.

"What should I do, what should I do—" the brunette grumbled while talking to no one in particular.

"Sonny, can you do your mumbling-grumbling somewhere else? I'm in the middle of _Tawni Time_!" Tawni sparkled and applied another coat of lip gloss.

"Tawni, what should I do? Nico and Grady want to get revenge on Chad and I agreed to help but I'm feeling a little guilty because is it too mean? Well, it _is _only _Chad _so it's not a big deal but there's always a line you don't cross, you know, but when I said no the first time they accused me o—"

"Sonny, SONNY! _Tawni Time_!" the blonde clamped her pointer and index finger together and proceeded to pull it across her mouth, motioning to resemble a zipper being closed. "Now, I don't care about your 'oh boo-hoo I have a heart,' problem, what I care about right now is that these _perfectly_ shaped lips get the _perfect_ amount of gloss on them! Why don't you just go and do whatever you think is right since you _always_ do that anyway?"

"Are you giving me advice?" Sonny blinked, confused at the sudden kind gesture (if it could be called that).

"Yes," Tawni declared, "and here it is: Get Out." She smiled sweetly then continued back to her regularly scheduled program of Ignoring Sonny.

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**3:09 PM**

"Chad, don't go in there!" Sonny pleaded (wait, she wasn't pleading, she was simply _warning with great emotion_). Chad stopped in his tracks right before the supply closet in the corridor and squinted his eyes in confusion.

"Do you _mind_? Why are you following me anyway?" Chad straightened his jacket before instantaneously changing his mood to extreme giddiness, "Brenda said someone delivered a cake in here for me! Told me to get it myself 'cause it's _that _special," he beamed.

"But there's not really any cake, Nico and Grady tricked Brenda into tricking _you_ so they could lock you in there as revenge for being a jerk to them earlier and—wait, you're getting a _cake _in the _supply closet_? And you don't find that the _least bit weird_?" Sonny asked with a dumbfounded expression. At the time the plan was mentioned to her she did _not _realize just how half-witted it actually was. No one would really fall for a _Cake In the Supply Closet _trick, would they?

"...wait," Chad started, "this is _stupid_ and _ridiculous_," oh, so the boy _did _have some sense! "I think you're just _jealous_ that I have a cake and you don't! Now, if you don't mind—" and off he was, into the supply closet. It turned out the boy didn't have sense after all.

"What! No, Chad—!" Sonny mindlessly jumped in after him and grabbed his arm to pull him back out when: _SLAM_, _CLUNK_. The door was shut and something was set up as a blockade to lock them inside ('_A chair, I think_,' Sonny tried to remember The Two Doofuses plan). Sonny banged on the door to get the attention of the pranksters, "Hey, guys! I'm in here too, you know! It's me, Sonny! Let me out!" In response, all she heard was laughter that slowly faded down the hall. She sighed in defeat.

"OH MY GOSH!" Chad shrieked.

"I _told _you—"

"There's no cake in here! Look at this," he picked up a cardboard box, "it's just a cardboard box with the words '_THIS IS NOT A CAKE, SUCKA_' written on it! Those...those _jerks_! NO ONE tricks _Chad Dylan Cooper_!" Chad bit his lip and clenched his fists.

"Seriously, Chad?" Sonny smacked him in the arm, "you are _such _an idiot," she rolled her eyes.

Chad: -4857485 (he went negative for being stupid), Randoms: 5 (for actually pulling off a badly-thought-out plan).

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**3:35 PM **_(12 minutes ago)_

"How long have we been in here?" Chad whined as he leaned against Sonny's back. She didn't want to see his face so she made them sit back-to-back in the supply closet. This place, by Sonny Munroe's standards, _stunk_: dark, dirty, had no cellphone service, and currently housed Chad Dylan Cooper.

"We wouldn't have been stuck in here if it wasn't for _you_," Sonny snapped, "Cake in a supply closet? Really, Chad? _Really_?"

"When are you gonna forgive me already! '_Cake in a supply closet_ (his voice became whiny, mimicking hers)?' Did you ever think that _maybe_ I got stuck in here with you on _purpose_?"

"UGH, please Chad, I'm not in the mood for your _charm_," Sonny groaned. She heard Chad gasp and spin around to look at her, so she did the same.

"Everyone's always in the mood for my _charm_," he stated. If she wasn't charmed there _had_ to be something wrong. "C'mon, are you seriously that mad at me? I'm sorry, okay?"

The brunette sighed. Why did that boy have to have a sweet side? "It's all right, I'm not mad, Chad. I'm just...bored and frustrated, I guess," she sighed _again_.

"Okay, good. 'Cause I am too, I mean, we've been in here for like _four hours_! Why hasn't anyone noticed I'm missing!"

"Chad. It's been 20 minutes. And they're probably having a party since you're gone," Sonny smiled sweetly.

"Ha, ha." Chad laughed in the most unamused, sarcastic way possible. "Hey, Sonny..?"

* * *

**3:47 PM **_(present time)_

So_, _Chad was presently kissing Sonny. What? How? It went kind of like this:

"_C'mon, __let's play truth or dare_."

"_No, I don't want to play that with you_."

"_Come onnn, I'm so bored._"

"_No, Chad._"

"_Sonny_."

"_Chad_."

"_Truth or dare?_"

"_No_."

"_Yes_."

"_No_."

"_Yes_."

"_No_."

"_Yes!_"

"_Ugh, fine_."

"_Okay, without the 'truth' part though._"

"_WHAT? Why!_"

"_Because you'd only pick 'truth,' and that's boring._ _I'm already bored, Sonny_."

"_No_."

"_Yes_."

"_No, Chad_."

"_Yes, Sonny_."

"_Fine!_"

"_Heh, good._"

"_GOOD!_"

"_Fine!_"

"_CHAD!_"

The first dare, to Sonny's dismay, was for her to kiss Chad Dylan Cooper. She could have very well won the "yes/no/yes/no" argument or continued to question why he'd consider daring her that in the first place, but she just so happened to glance into his eyes and she was lost. Lost in a tiny, crowded, dirty supply closet, extremely tired from arguing, and approximately 2 inches away from his face and _those eyes_ you just couldn't say no to (jeez, no wonder he was a spoiled brat; bet his parents couldn't say no, either). Plus, let's be honest: it'd shut him up, right? Yeah, that was good reasoning (totally good reasoning).

"Whoa, seriously?" Chad had asked when Sonny agreed to the dare. She tightly shut her eyes, awkwardly puckered her lips, and proclaimed, "G-go ahead! Just—_hurry up already_!"

"Uhm...w-well, Sonny, you know I was just—" he started but stopped. She looked adorable with her stupid eyes so stupidly shut tight, all nervous. Stupid, stupid, _stupid_. Stupid _cute_. Meanwhile, Sonny wondered what he was doing. Her heart was pounding and it was getting difficult to breathe. Was it a trick? Oh, gosh, he was joking! Duh! Why would he actually be serious about them kissing? Was she actually _that_ exhausted to cave so easily to a dare like this? Wait, did she want to—no, no. Was she looking like a fool right now? Definitely, because—because... ... ...wait, he was kissing her? '_Oh my gosh oh my gosh_,' Sonny mentally freaked out, '_Chad Dylan Cooper is kissing me! CHAD? Chad Dylan Cooper!_'

"OH MY GOSH Chad Dylan Cooper is kissing Sonny! Sonny!"

Chad and Sonny, startled, jumped and looked over at the now opened supply closest door, framing the So Random! cast mates who were intently watching them.

Oops.

Chad: infinity (for getting Sonny to kiss him), Randoms: -300 (for feeling sick for the next 3 days). Looks like Chad's work here was done, yet again.

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_**A/N:** I'm not really happy with the writing of this one (too much dialogue, not enough kissing ahhh) and I'm actually nervous about posting it...but I had fun regardless so I hope you liked reading it. (: _

_Questions: did you think it was too long or drawn-out for a simple kiss? Boring? Do you like it better just focusing on Sonny and Chad, or is showing the other characters like this once in a while OK? I stretched the characterizations a bit but did they pass as somewhat in-character? _

_Anyway, I'm super excited for the next oneshot, I'm gonna change it up a bit ;) whoo hoooo! Thanks for sticking with me guys, you're so awesome and supportive! (: (: (:_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't even know who these people are, they're not mine!_?


	4. Sweet

_**A/N: **hello again, everyone! I think this oneshot is adorable. (: Aaannnd it's dedicated to XxSmashingPandasxX! Thank you!, I hope this is the type of thing you were looking to read. ;)  
_

_**Disclaimer: **__SWAC = mine (PSYCH! Got'cha!)_

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#4. Sweet

"Awww, Chad! That was _so _sweet!" her voice raises an octave as she coos, her illuminating smile near-blinding him.

"What?" he coughs, "Y-you know, I didn't do it for you. I just did it because...well—" Chad's voice trails off and he's kicking at nothingness on the ground for the sake of nervously shuffling his feet. Sonny glides over to him, running her fingers along his arm.

"Well, what?" she giggles. She can't help but be completely enamored of the fact that Chad Dylan Cooper did something sweet for _her_, Sonny Munroe. Get this: America's Bad Boy just stood up to the paparazzi for America's Good Girl. '_I wonder how many people get to be on Chad's sweet side?_' she ponders to herself.

* * *

FLASHBACK

_The paparazzi flocked around Sonny as soon as she walked up to the Condor Studios parking lot. Although she had to shield her eyes from flashing cameras, she kept a gentle smile on her face. It always paid to be polite, right?_

_"Sonny, Sonny! Can you answer a few questions for us?"_

_"Ms. Munroe, how do you like working on So Random?"_

_"Sonny, is it true that Tawni Hart actually hates you?"_

_"Have you ever been arrested?"_

_"What's the most annoying thing about your cast mates?"_

_"Do you hate Chad Dylan Cooper?"_

_"Are you dating your co-star Grady Mitchell?"_

_"Wh-what? Where do you guys hear these things?" Sonny inquired thoughtfully, "That's not__—"_

_"We heard the cast of Mackenzie Falls can't stand you, is it true?"_

_"Would any of your co-stars try to get you fired?"  
_

_Now, she usually avoided the limelight but this time they were getting a bit rude—and invasive; she was going to have to fight to get out of _this_ crowd. Opening her mouth to speak again, a different voice came out:_

_"People, people! Come on now, we all know everyone _loves_ Sonny," Chad Dylan Cooper came out of nowhere and parted the crowd. What was he, magic? He slung his arm over Sonny's shoulder, then pinched her cheek lightly. "Isn't she just adorable? Now, if you excuse us—" he smirked, winked, and left them with a huge dose of CDC Charm as he guided Sonny into the studio. Sonny could hear the paparazzi screaming louder than before after they left. Yep, magic._

END FLASHBACK

* * *

Chad blinks a few times, suddenly aware that Sonny is running her fingers along his arm. He adjusts his leather jacket and stands up straight. "Well, you know, anything to, uh—" he falters a bit, "—make myself look better. I mean, _perfect_ opportunity, right? Who's a puppy shover _now_, Tween Weekly!" he pops his collar like he's so tough.

"Right,_ riiiight_," Sonny smiles innocently, "and saying everyone 'loves' me was just a perk?" she teasingly smacks his arm, radiating with happy giggles, "You _SO _care!"

"What? Pfft, Sonny, _please_, Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't care about anything except himself," his eyes dart to the side as he gives her a _girl, you crazy!_-type of look. "I so _don't_ care."

"Do _too_!" Sonny chimes.

"Do _not_," Chad snaps back.

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"Not!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"HAH! I knew it!" Sonny chuckles, "Chad Dylan Cooper _cares_ about me!"

"Wha- _hey_! Number _one_ (he ticks off his fingers as he counts): just because you _tricked_ me doesn't make it true," Chad growls and squints his eyes in the most-pathetic-pout-ever. This girl definitely knows how to get to him. "And number _two_: it's called _acting_, Sonny. _You_ may not know how to do it, but _I_ do," he smooths out his jacket and pulls at his sleeves. Yeah, what _now_, Munroe? Burned!

Sonny laughs, "Uhm, okay Mr. _Mathlete_—how's _this_? number one: I didn't _trick_ you, you _admitted_ it. And number two: I've seen your acting; you're _not_ that convincing," her grin becomes excessively large as she crosses her arms. Who's burned now, Cooper?

Chad bites his lip in a sarcastic smile. "That's how we're gonna do this, huh? All right, step back, _Sonny_," the blond struts over back to the entrance of Condor Studios and leans against the door. "I'll tell the paparazzi everything I told them about you was a _lie_," he leers.

"Pfft, you _wouldn't_," Sonny scoffs, her lips slightly curling at how stubborn the boy is. Chad may seem like a jerk but he's not _mean_ (if that makes sense). Right?

"Watch me," he spins around and opens the door, exposing himself to the loyal paparazzi who lie in wait for celebrity meat. "My loving fans: CDC here, to give you an important message I just _had_ to make known. It's my _duty_ as the Greatest Actor of Our Generation to tell you everything you need to know. And today, that's—" he swivels his head back to sneer at Sonny, only to get practically punched in the face by her expression: nervous, confused, sad? Ugh, darn, really? _Really_? Is she doing this on _purpose_? Chad begins stuttering, his eyes still on Sonny, "That's—uhm..._well_, er..." at the trailing of his voice the paparazzi become quiet. Sonny's eyes widen (he swears she is _so_ doing this on purpose) and suddenly he's aware of each and every one of her _blinks _(stupid big, brown eyes). Eventually Chad snaps back into reality and faces the crowd. "Ah—uh...what I was saying was—uh—m-make..._sure_ to catch this weeks episode of Mackenzie Falls, Wednesday, 8/7 Central!" he slams the door shut and rests his head against it. What the _heck_ was _that_? Can this get any _more_ embarrassing?

Yes.

Stifled laughter hits Chad's ears. She's _laughing_. No, it's even _worse_ than laughing because she's _trying _not _to laugh_.

"Sonny—" he twists his body around to face her and gets ready for another Chad vs Sonny showdown when he's punched in the face _again_ by, this time, a different expression from the girl: sweet, pleasant, cute, delighted, appreciative, _cute_? He sighs in defeat and runs his hand through his hair. "Sonny," he starts but is interrupted when she steps over to him and plays with the zipper of his jacket.

"I care about you too, Chad," she giggles innocently.

Chad blushes (wait, not blushes, just... ... ...inside his face is bleeding? Oh, who knows). "I-I never actually _said _I cared," he rolls his eyes nervously.

"Fine, fine, you don't have to _say_ it. I get it," Sonny shakes her head, still giggling.

"Sonny, I don't—"

"Sure, Chad. _Suuure_ you don't."

"_Hey_, now you're—"

"What? _Adorable_?"

Chad coughs, practically choking on his embarrassment. "_What_?"

"Chad, come here," the brunette replies as she puts her hand by her face like she's going to tell him a secret. He confusedly complies to her request and leans over so they're just inches apart. Without warning she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him into a kiss. A _kiss_? Chad's eyes widen and he tries to resist the urge to kiss back but he fails miserably. The feeling is basically the personification of Sonny herself: gentle, loving, and pleasant with a little_ spice_. By the time he processes what's going on, the kiss is slowly broken off. "Thank you," she whispers in what he swears is the most sincere voice he's ever heard in his life, "You were really sweet today."

Her smile captivates him and he's trapped in her eyes (first she steals his lines and now his _look_?). He tries to look away and say something witty but all that comes out is: "W-well, _yeah_, I have my moments..."

She sees his cheeks gradually become more and more pink and decides Chad Dylan Cooper _definitely _cares about her. So when she kisses him again, he lets her—and makes fun of her for being in love with him later.

(By the way, just for the record? Only Chad can pick on Sonny and get away with it. Yeah, paparazzi, we're lookin' at _you_.)


	5. Marshmallows pt 1

#5. Marshmallows pt 1

Ladies, ladies! How's it goin'?

Nico here, struttin' my stuff, lookin' buff, keepin' it tough, yee_ah_! I know you're all here for me, but I've got a story for you.

Now, I gotta warn you first, it's a pretty _weird_ story. Why am I telling it to you then? Just...you know what, just listen (_jeez_)! Aw'right, check it, it happened just the other day...

* * *

So this particular morning I was doing awe—soommme!: breezing through rehearsals, comin' up with the funny stuff, lookin' good, you know, the usual. One thing that defintely _wasn't_ normal though was _Sonny_. Girl was practically glued to her phone, texting, grumbling, yelling at the phone, and occasionally checking the screen and shouting, "_What's taking so long!_" She even screwed up most of her lines during rehearsals so we kept having to take breaks. What up with that, right?

A'ight, skip to lunch time. I was sittin' with my gang, getting checked out by that chick from Meal Or No Meal (heck yeah, #7!), when I noticed Sonny was still kinda down.

"Sonny, you okay?" I decided to ask her, being the charming dude I am.

She didn't even look up from her phone but she was all, "Nico, tell me something. Why are boys stupid?"

First I was like, "Huh?" Then I was like, "Uhm...we're not stupid?" In response she just sighed. That same kind of sigh you do when you gotta go visit your 200 year old grandma and spend all day knitting with her or something. That could only mean one thing: I figured Sonny was just having- hav- having—agh, sorry, I just shivered—_boy_ troubles. "Sonny girl, what's up? Is someone buggin' you? I'll beat 'em up, you know, unless they're a Teen Gladiator 'cause let's be honest, you do _not_ wanna see that fight, haha, know what I'm sayin'?" I grinned and popped my collar. Yeah, I was _so_ cool (kind of).

"Don't worry, Nico. I gotta take care of this one myself," Sonny said while smiling sweetly.

"All right," I replied, "just let me kno—" but suddenly she cut me off.

"What do you think of Chad?"

...

Serious? Gross! _Chad_?

"Uh, Biggest Jerk of Our Generation?" I used that voice where it's like 'duh, how can you not know?'

"No, that's not what I meant! Well, actually, I did...uh, but I mean, do you think he..." Sonny was fidgeting now.

"Do I think he...what?" I asked 'cause dude, I can't read minds.

Just then she stood up. "N-nevermind," she stuttered, threw out her lunch, and left. Afterwards I saw Chip Drama Pants himself get up and leave too. That was a coincidence...I thought.

But seriously, what was going on with that girl? I wondered to myself as I stuffed my face with meatballs. I knew I should've gone after her but 1) Chip was somewhere out there, and 2) hey, it was Meatball Monday! And I gotta admit, while I was eating I completely forgot what just happened and moved onto talking about TF2 with G. Er...Sonny, if you're listening to this: sorry, girl.

Now we're gonna skip to way after lunch, after a second attempt of failed rehearsals (thanks to Sonny and her phone—shouldn't we have taken it away from her?).

I'm just minding my own business walking through the halls of Stage 3, on my way to the Little Boys Room (you get what I'm sayin'?), when all of a sudden—

"UGH! I can't _stand_ him!"

I stopped dead in my tracks in front of—uh, yeah, you guessed it—Sonny and Tawni's dressing room. Chicks are always screamin' about _something_. '_Just keep walking, Nico, keep walking..._' I told myself. But then I figured, '_...ah, what the heck!_' So I pressed my ear against their door.

"He keeps texting me stupid things and bothering me, doesn't he have anything better to do? I'll show _him_...Tawni, help me come up with something good to reply!"

"Tsk, you guys are, like, _so_ juvenile. Why don't you talk about something interesting? Like how _pretty_ I am!"

"Tawni, I don't think Chad would r—"

Whoa whoa _whoa_, hold up! I stood straight up, absolutely disgusted. Girls say _what_? I was pretty sure I just heard her say "Chad"! _Chip Drama Pants_, really? She's talking about him _again_? I was like, '_dang! I am _so_ out of here_,' no way did I wanna hear about _Chip_. Especially if Sonny was having "boy troubles" like I thought all this morning and afternoon and then she asked me that weird question about Chad and now she's saying _more_ stuff about Chad—I mean, ew! Was she grandma-sighing over _Chad_? Blegh!

But first I had to take a leak. Boys room, boys room, boys room...yeah, so aaanyway. A few minutes passed and _then _I was so outta there! I swagga'd back to me and G's dressing room, busted open the door and—was greeted by Zora?

"AH! _Zora_?" I yelped. '_What the heck is she doing in _our_ dressing room?_' I thought.

"Nico!" she sang in that nasal-y voice of hers, "I saw you _spying_," her eyes squinted and I was _preeetty_ sure she'd lunge at me if I said something she didn't wanna hear (of course I kept my cool).

"Hey, hey, I wasn't spying! I was just...wait, how do you even know where I was and what I was doing in the first place, unless you were there doing the same thing you _think_ I was doing?" Ha! I _so_ got her. I crossed my arms, deciding I needed answers _pronto_. "And where the heck is G?" I asked.

Zora frowned. "I was simply collecting data, pea-brain! And Grady...Grady actually..." her voice trailed off eerily, "He's being held captive!"

"_Captive_?" I shrieked (in the manliest way possible; I mean, c'mon! Zora gets creepy, you know, man).

"Chad took him!" she screamed until her voice cracked.

"Say _what_? Who kidnapped who and with what and why now?" my jaw dropped. '_Hold up, was she crazy? Girl was crazy!_' I told myself. How else would any of this make sense, right?

"Remember when you were spying on Sonny and Tawni but walked away before their conversation was over? Well, yeah, Sonny said Chad texted her saying he had Grady held _captive_! Hurry! _Hurry_! Go to him! And bring a bag of marshmallows!" she declared and practically forced me out of the room.

So I started scrambling. '_Chip had my best bud! I gotta get 'im! I gotta—_' I started thinking, but then I was like, '_wait a sec..._' I narrowed my eyes at Zora, giving her the best I-mean-business look I could muster up. "Marshmallows?"

"Don't ask questions! Just _go_!" she threw her arms up and pointed out the door, so I ran. Held onto my fedora and ran like a madman to the nearest grocery store!

But first: _BAM!_

Okay, so before I actually _got _to the grocery store I ran into Sonny in the hallway. Literally. It hurt pretty bad, I gotta say.

"OHMYGOSH I'm _so_ sor—Nico?" she stumbled over her words (yes, I _do_ have that effect on women, heh).

So then I was all, "Sonny! Sonny, Chad has Grady!" practically screamin' now.

Sonny looked really confused and she asked, "Wait, what? What do you mean?"

I told her the story but honestly I couldn't really remember it that good anymore...heh-heh. Sooo instead of recalling that Zora said Sonny _herself_ was the one who received the text about G, I kinda told her Zora said that _she_ saw Chad tie G up and bring him to the Falls set. And that Chad's allergic to marshmallows so I gotta go get some to threaten him with (hey, I told you I couldn't recall the story at the time, _a'ight_!). Well anyway, Sonny starts freaking out, right? Ha ha, should've seen her, it was great...naw, but I digress. After that she agrees to help me, grumblin' about how Chip is a jerk-throb, that he'd do anything to get on her nerves, etc etc. I stopped listening after a while. C'mon, a man can only focus on one thing at a time and right then the thing I was focusing on was Starcraft II—I mean, marshmallows. Yeah, marshmallows. ...no but serious, did you play SCII yet? DANG, it's ti—...uh, er.

"All right, you get the marshmallows and I'll go check on Chad to make sure Grady's still okay!" I suddenly heard Sonny say. '_Yeah, yeah,_' I thought to myself, '_that way she can get a good feel for the situation before we do anything rash!_'

"Good idea," I told her and nodded my head. Sonny's a smart girl. "Be careful!" I added before running off to the store for some'a those marshmallows.

* * *

So yeah, I'm in the store, dig? I'm too much in a hurry to strut my stuff so I'm just running around like a chicken without a head. And then guess who I_ happen_ to see? Seriously, guess.

...

...

...okay, fine! Get this: I saw...[drumroll] _Chip Drama Pants. _Yeah, you heard me: _CHAD DYLAN POOPER_! I pretty much died, like, right then and there 'cause I was like, '_wait, isn't Sonny supposed to be checking up on him? Doesn't he have G captive?_' But that's not the worst part. He was buying gum. ...oh wait, oops, that's not the bad part. The bad part is he was buying _duct tape_! You know what you do with duct tape? You tie up and gag the people you kidnap!

"Chip!" I screamed and he dashed. The guy _dashed off_! I saw him hop in his fancy—and stupid—convertible so instead of unsuccessfully chasing him I hurriedly got those dang marshmallows. Now, I'm buying the marshmallows but there are like 20 people on line! Yeah, you heard me! _20 people_! I'm like tapping my foot all impatient but the cashier is like a 200 year old grandma. Yeah, the same grandma you knit with; she gets so bored she's gotta have a one-day-a-week job. I mean, I would've just run out of the store but I can't _steal_ marshmallows, right? I couldn't believe this was happening to me...okay, 18 minutes (I counted) later I'm checked out with marshmallows and I run back to Condor Studios. So a total of like 25 minutes has passed—that's enough for Chad to _kill a man_! And to be more specific: _kill G_! I was hoping he hadn't found Sonny, either.

But, of course, I thought too soon.

Because right before I kicked down Chad's dressing room door, I heard him say: "Sonny, please! I'm sorry, okay?" Boy say what? Is he apologizing? Did he kill G? Is he apologizing for killing G?

With my emotions goin' crazy I kicked down Chad's dressing room door, _BAM_! _Awesome_! Heh. Yeah, but you know what I saw? No, I didn't see that chick from Meal Or No Meal. No, I didn't see any dead bodies. No, I didn't see even see _G_. You know what I saw?

Sonny. Sonny _and_ Chad. M- muh- muh—nngh, I think I'm gonna vomit—I saw Sonny and Chad _making out_. His arms were wrapped around her and she was grabbing his face into hers and—

Don't make me say it! I-I'm gonna be sick..!

I mean, dude. DUDE, SERIOUSLY? I'm gone for half an hour and I literally_ just _heard Chad talking and _this_ happens when I bust through the door? Well, let me tell ya, the first thing that came to my mind was: DESTROY! I ripped open my bag of marshmallows and chucked them at Chad.

"Stay back! Get off Sonny!" I screamed, my arms goin' like an MK48, occasionally licking a marshmallow so it'd stick when I pelted it at my enemy.

"_NICO?_" Sonny shrieked as she hid for cover. "Wait, Nico, it's not what it looked like—" she started but I didn't care. Chip screamed like the girl he is but I didn't let up; he was going down by marshmallows.

"Sonny, save yourself!" I shouted.

Oh, you bet I got 'im.

This story ends with Chad covered in marshmallows, me being _extremely_ angry and confused, and Sonny apologizing as she helped pick those dang marshmallows off Chip. What's up with that? All my hard work!

"Chad, I'm _so_ sorry," she had the gall to say. I thought she was apologizing to _me_ but she was apologizing to _him_?

"What, now you're the one apologizing? That means you totally forgive me for earlier, right?" Chip was grinnin' and goin' on about something. What are they talking about? '_What's going on?_' I thought. I decided I was gonna go over there and break up whatever was happening—

"Maybe," Sonny smiled and—oh my—what the—she was _blushing_? And _leaning in_ closer to Chad? WHAT? Okay, I was _so_ breaking that up—!

But I slipped on a roll of duct tape.

And I started blacking out. But right before I did, I thought I heard camera clicks and a nasal-y type of laughter that slightly reminded me of Zora's...

Then I blacked out.

Dangit.

The moral of this long-winded tale?

To all you kids: stay away from Chad Dylan Cooper. He's a jerk, snob, and looks horrible in marshmallows.

Sonny, if you're listening: I mean you, too!

Also: don't believe anything Zora says. (Let's just say there's a new article in Tween Weekly about the _SR! and CDC marshmallow extravaganza_.)

* * *

_**A/N: **__omg, Nico, _really___? Why did I choose him for my first attempt at first-person POV? (Because I've never seen a Nico-POV that's in-character. Do you guys have any?) Well...did I pull it off okay? In-character, yes/no? Anyway, there's not _as___ much Channy but I thought it was silly/entertaining! Is that OK? The next story is Sonny and Chad's version of this (more romance, really, LOL), but it's still a "oneshot" because you won't need to read this one to understand it (I hope). (:_

___Also be sure to check out/review my new story for __hubbabubba(.)ouch's____ Fairy Tale Challenge, The Greatest Victim of Our Generation! Thanks guys! (:  
_

___**Disclaimer: **SWAC is Disney's!  
_


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